Reverse Hipstering

Hello. Hey. Hi. What's up? Head nod.

I've had three different conversations lately where the question was asked "do you write anymore?"

The short answer is no. The long answer is still no but with a lot more excuses. I write to do lists, weekly menu plans, shopping lists, and irritatingly long instagram posts. Meanwhile in my head all the real words just sit and not just collect dust, but ingest it somehow. So in the rare occasion I try to express anything, the words just sputter and choke.

I told Jon my life was too happy to write. Like a certain amount of tragedy could be useful or inspiring. But there's also the fear that maybe if I did write, allow the words to piece together all these thoughts and feelings, I'd find out I'm not as happy as I thought I was. Maybe not saying anything at all has kept me from feeling what's really there.

A year ago, shortly after Cordelia was born, Jon sent me a text saying "remember this?" with a picture of me holding the journal a story of mine was published in. Facebook had told him that three years ago this event had happened, his wife had published something. I think his text was meant to be inspiring or at the least not cause me to spiral down to a deep abyss of sadness. There I was holding my newborn baby, wreaking of spit up and bleeding into basically a diaper and thinking about the life I used to live. That's not to say I used to live a life of writing and publications, all fancy fance and important. But I did for a small two semester moment, live a life with a voice and confirmation of abilities I hoped to posses.

I hate reading the bright and shiny version of people's lives. So many blogs and instagram accounts tell of only the best parts, making you wonder how much they edit their lives. Or worse, "why isn't my life like theirs?" That's not to say I particularly enjoy reading or hearing about people's complaints or woes of life. But there's a certain amount of reality that's missing, of truth. All the neatly tied up stories, a few complaints glossed over and sweetened by the realization of something grand and wonderful about life. To be honest I rarely have those grand realizations. Sometimes my two year old breaking down about wanting to stay in her pajamas or my baby's sudden discovery of purposefully dropping food off her tray is just that; infuriating and exhausting. But I have to believe that it's ok and that other braless moms going on their 4th cookie of the day exist out there. And that their house isn't tidy and there isn't a teepee in the corner of their child's bare nursery.

So I guess I'm going to be a reverse hipster and blog after it was cool. I'm not going to edit. And I'm not going to pretend I will be in anyway consistent with this. But here's to a small effort at dusted off words and writing.

Jon and Kel Plus Twelve's Winter Season Finale:

Important Lessons Learned

- Even though I use "English Major" threateningly in a game of Bananagrams, it always seems to ring empty to this smarty pants husband.

- Italian Sodas are a must.

- We celebrate our birthdays in completely different ways. Mine involves chocolate and lots of plans. His involves Sushi and no plans.

- We are good at finding yummy places to eat/obsess over in Provo.

- Easter is honestly my Favorite Holiday. (And my husband does listen to me when I talk and talk about childhood Easter baskets full of Sees Candy and a new Swim Suit. He even surprises me with one.)

- Rexburg Trips to see Good Friends are always worth it.

- Having a set Date Night makes us both Happier.

- Jon doesn't do well with sad movies. This was manifested at the end of Life is Beautiful. I tried repeating the title thoughtfully, "Life is Beautiful Jon...Life is Beautiful" but it didn't help.

Look at that distraught face.

- We can actually bring ourselves to buy furniture for our Condo without Buyer's Remorse.

- Jon is deathly afraid of heights and due to my long list of irrational fears we thought I would be no different. No siree. I'm a heights champion and I totally impressed the husband.

Little do you know I had to do some serious coaxing to get him to stand up for this picture. He was convinced we were going to fall off the side the minute we stood up.

-We can not only survive our least favorite season of the year, but we can even enjoy it. Together.

A College Student Now

I'm officially registered for Classes at UVU starting in the Fall.

I'm nervously excited and somehow happily scared.

I had an appointment with a school counselor today and with no knowledge of the campus I begged Jon to come with me. He obliged. When the meeting was over we walked through the halls together with Jon examining/sizing up the place.

He then concluded, "Well it seems like a pretty nice campus, the people do seem a little interesting. But I guess we are in the Liberal Arts Building... English people are weird." He gave me a sideways glance and squeezed my hand hoping get a good rise.

I just smiled and contentedly sighed, "yeah... we are weird"as I watched the girl in a Harry Potter shirt with unwashed hair light up as she discovered what was probably the perfect sentence to end her paper.

I then joined Jon in eating a mediocre pepperoni pizza while chugging awful caffeinated pop. Because I am after all a College Student Now.

Woot Woot.

Springtime?

Spring.
I seem to fall for you every year.
You appear, breath, and dye my heart different pastel colors.
And then, teasingly you stick your tongue out, pull down a cover of snow, and hide.
My red Toms that have been previously established as cheery, now are wet and angry. They keep asking me why I fall for your tricks.
I begin to defend myself and then I remember...
The single pair of socks shared between two sisters cold and unprepared feet for a week. It was April.
The morning I came upstairs to find my roommates lounging instead of class attending, when asked why they opened up the blinds. Snow blinded me. It was June.
You're right, I should have known better Red Toms.
As to you Spring, let's make a deal. You appear and stay for a while, and I'll promise to use you in all the proper ways. I'll picnic in light cardigans, smell the blooming flowers, and drive with the window rolled down.
Deal?

To be honest

Done with Glee's Agenda. Peace out.

daily reminder: I'm going to Mexico in FEBRUARY not tommorrow-bummer

Feels good to hear what kind of missionary my husband was.

Easter is blackened hotdogs and molly's devilled eggs

Don't know what to do with those nice things you said

recycled songs

missing my bright orange watch and pouch

measuring out my Hollandaise Sauce felt like death

"Want to watch an episode of Lie to Me?" or maybe 5?

Dear To Kill a Mockingbird,

I've held you before

breathed on your insides

and bent your corners.

But you were assigned and I was too young;

busy caring less.

My hands were fumbly and you were too delicate,

your words crumbled at my fingertips.

I'm sorry, it should have been grand.

Should have been.

And yet, you gave me a second chance

and this time it was different.

As I turned your pages, I felt steady and you stayed solid.

I cared more.

When your back met your cover in my hands I squeezed

and I felt you squeeze back.

I've been filled.

Filled with characters you made my friends,

the tug of Youth,

the love of innocence,

and the beauty of Life.

Now, I can place you deservingly on the top shelf of my mental bookcase

and say simply this,

Thank you for the second chance, it was Grand.

With Love,

Kelsey

Rooster Talk

When I was younger I spent a lot of time at a good friend's house. Summer was our season and we spent hours swimming in the canal, salting freshly picked cucumbers, and catching the lead singers of their backyard frog Choir. One of my favorite features of this home away from home was the "country" feel. This family had pigs and chickens to feed, apples to pick, sprinklers to move, and wild kittens to tame. I was convinced my dear friend had the life and true to kid nature, she did not agree. So at every opportunity I begged to be the one who got to feed the chickens and gather the eggs. She of course conceded easily and happily, and yet I felt like I had won something precious. I was so fascinated with those funny little chickens with their awkward neck movements and constant babbling. On one particular day I was gathering the eggs while quietly trying to persuade the chickens not to peck at me. My friend and her brother were outside of the coop, watching me through the holes in the wire. I suddenly noticed the backs of some of the chickens. They were missing their feathers and looked like they had been scratched. I was disturbed by the sight and remember urgently coming out of the coop and asking what happened to them. My friend and her brother looked at eachother and laughed. They then proceeded to tell me the Rooster did that to them. I was confused and asked why the Rooster was so mean to them. They laughed some more and then gave me a little talk about the Birds and the Bees- animal style. I was disgusted. I remember clapping my hands over my ears and trying to hum the disturbing away. But the lesson was inevitable and now the chickens weren't that cute and the task of gathering eggs had lost its innocence and charm. I gladly handed the chicken duties back to my friend and spent more time salting and eating cucumbers with hands at the ready if Rooster talk began.

Lately I've learned a lot about the people in my world mostly without any inquiry. Whether it's discovering too much information about ward members, becoming a confidant for the troubled, or having overtalkative coworkers the point is the same. There seems to be a constant stream of reality that's shattering the charm of well, everything. As much as I claim to be a realist, I still appreciate the warm and the fuzzy that keep the hard topics hidden. So in an effort to maintain a love for the human race and in the name of chickens, I will now be slamming my hands over my ears and humming my heart out.

I'm sorry...hummm.... I just can't hear you....hummm
please work.

To be honest

Someone please tell T Swift she doesn't deserve a second chance-Girl, it's March.

My Red Toms are plain Cheery.

Lots of babies.

Chopped hair is lib-er-ating.

I gladly call my husband "Ninja"....when he's playing Volleyball. Seriously. Ninja.

Starburst Jellybeans

Jon challenges us to a house cleaning race = me as Monica Geller. Smart Man.

I wish it was normal to talk to you.

007- License to Kill

For Christmas my wonderful sister in law bought us a Wii. We were shocked and excited and so so grateful.
As Jon gripped the newly opened Wii, I saw the reflection of highschool "gaming" nights form in his eyes. I unfortunately know what those nights look like, it's not pretty. I'm a firsthand witness to the phenomenon of sweat panted boys, mentally locked in a basement with screen glued eyes. Words were rarely spoken, the mouth was used to chug mountain dew rather than talk. It was blaspheme for a girl to even be there, I could break their concentration they said. I remember saying goodbye to Jon there at night, only to return the next morning to find the "gaming" boys unmoved and eerily awake.
I quickly rippled his highschool reflection and stated my "stance" on video games which is:
"I'm all for video games (minus the horribly violent ones) if you allow it to be something we can do together rather than an isolating activity." Jon has always doubted this philosophy of mine, believing it to be a nicer way of saying "You will never be allowed to play video games, because I'm never going to play with you." The boy obviously was not acquainted with my "gaming" history.
Although my history is oldschool and ends around the time N64 was replaced with well...um...whatever it was replaced with, I played my fair share of games. Part of it can be attributed to having a brother that could litterally convince/force me to do anything (see: me jumping off the roof onto the trampoline) So many games of Blitz, Donkey Kong, and Super Mario Brothers were played gainst or with my will. But the other part can be explained by a simple love for Mario Kart, 007, and Donkey Kong 3. The thrill of getting a lightening bolt, sneaking up on an opponent, or collecting enough bannanas for an extra life, kept my fingers moving and my self enjoying.
So a few saturdays ago, Jon found himself seated on the couch, controller in hand next to his wife also with controller in hand. We had purchased 007 for the Wii and I was beyond excited. We began to play, both a little timid as we tried to guage the others seriousness. Jon kept looking at me as if expecting me to abruptly call off the game and dramtically declare our home a nintendo free space. Around the 5th time he was killed by my player, Jon realized I was serious. We sat there and played for over an hour; laughing, yelling frustrations, and even trash talking some. I turned to him while playing and asked,
" So how does it feel to play nintendo with your Wife?" he thought for a second as his fingers pressed and manuevered. He replied with, "Ya know, Strangely Competitive."
I smiled and we continued playing.
I didn't win. In fact I lost badly and no, I won't share the score. However I will share how it felt to play with Jon and hear his words "strangely competitive."
It felt...
Strangely Fulfilling.

"Primary Answers"

In Primary the other day, I was teaching four inattentive children about our Savior. I was trying to explain to them that Jesus Christ volunteered to be our Savior which shows the great love He has for us. In hopes of gauging their understanding I asked them "how do you know your parents and family love you?" Different answers were thrown around, making me feel like they not only understood but believed, despite the constant bouncing in their seats. I was feeling good. Then one little girl said matter a factedly, "Well it's like, they'd catch a grenade for you."(for those of you that don't know, this is a line from a popular song on the radio by Bruno Mars ) I stifled a surprised laugh, less informed kids looked confused, and she smiled at her own witty pop song reference.

It seems as if those fallback "Primary Answers" we all reference have changed some.

Our Only Christmas Decoration

The mistletoe still hanging from my ceiling fan has helped me rationalize blogging about our Christmas. I mean, I haven't "taken" down Christmas in my house yet, so why not sneak in a report? I will add, the misteltoe was our only Christmas decoration.

There are two factors that made this Christmas so wonderful. The first being, I had literally not been home in an entire year. An entire year. That's a long time for any normal human being that has even the tiniest love for home. But a year for a girl that wants to bottle the smell of the lake in the summer time, opted to stay at home over playing with friends in Highschool, and begged to not return to college, a year is a long time. In fact I think you must times the year by approximately 5 to get the correct absence equivalent. So back to my reasons. Reason #1: I had not been home for 5 years. Reason #2: Since starting my job, Jon and I have had no longer than 4 days "vacation" together. Christmas Break was our first time together without any responsibility only fun and rest. Our break consisted of 11 days and it was glorious.

The minute I walked in my back door I became a crying mess. Just feeling that peace and comfort that only resides in your home. All my neices and nephews had rushed to the back door to give hugs and say hello to their Aunt Kiki. But upon seeing my hysterics they all gave looks of "Aunt Kiki is crazy" and scampered off. I was finally home.

The Christmas festivities were as enjoyable as ever. We spent some time at the Edwards', it was so good to see them. They are always so welcoming and make you feel so loved and cared for. We had our traditional gathering at Grandma Earls with all the Earls that could make it. We of course ate wonderfully. Christmas Day was so great. Jon and I exchanged one gift. I made him a shadowbox of his mission which he loved and he gave me a lime green yoga mat and yoga pants. Perfect. We were showered with gifts from our parents and family which we are so thankful for. We headed over to the Edwards' in the early afternoon and began making the never ending feast. We really enjoyed just hanging out over there, helping, and visiting. Wonderful day.

The rest of our time home was spent: game playing, pajama chilling, eating delicious food, never leaving the house, laughing and laughing, loving the adorable kids, putting together puzzles, and watching movies. I love that our family is such low maintenance. We are pefectly content laying around the house and just spending time together. The only discontent comes when games are played and competition begins. Although I'm pleased to share that I've learned a new coping mechanism when losing a game: As long as I've beaten my husband, I'm happy. It may seem cruel, but boy is it rewarding to beat that kid in a game.

I'm so thankful to my parents for creating a home that we all long to visit. I'm so thankful to my parents for creating a family we all long to be a part of always.

We discovered a new past time, speed puzzling. I helped with this puzzle, the boys may think they didn't need my help, but they did.

Oh the love of food shared by all family members.

Mostly how we looked all Break

Cutest. Kids. Ever.

Jon bonding with Izzy Jae. He's come a long way from calling Izzy an "It."

As always, it was horrible to leave. We had such a beautiful time that has fueled me for the past few weeks. Due to my 5 year absence from home I ovbiously have some distrust in Jon when he assures me we will be back soon. Before I walked out the door I made him pinky promise that I would be back, and back soon. He pinky promised. (deep breaths he pinky promised. breath.)

Our Anniversary Celebration

Jon and I's anniversary was lovely.

We drove down to Salt Lake and stayed a night at the Kimball (thanks Linh and Issac) We both got all dressed up and had dinner at "The Roof" restuarant at the top of the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. The setting is gorgeous with a view of Temple Square with the charming Christmas lights to behold. It's a gourmet buffet that costs forty dollars a person, not a typical price for our mostly empty wallets. We tried to blend in with the Ritzy diners, ya know pretend like this was an everyday occurrence. His shirt was tucked, I was wearing heels and we managed to keep our napkins in our lap. But our giveaway came when we began to eat. We commentated that food like starving reporters! "Oh honey, you've got to try this!" "This is the most tender piece of meat that I've ever eaten, "I wouldn't fill up on the appetizer salmon because this Tilapia is delicious," "This just in: they replenished the mashed potatoes." It soon became obvious to the surrounding tables that we were just dressed up poor newly weds, impostures really. But that suited us just fine. I believe commenting on food makes the taste about 10 times better, our "cover" wasn't worth giving that up. Our mouths are still watering over the Prime Rib, Chicken Cordon Bleu, and Bleu Cheese Flank Steak. So delicious. The main event though, was the dessert selection spread across two tables. Oh my goodness there was individual Creme Brulee, Berry Mousse, Chocolate Dipped Strawberries, Pumpkin Cheesecake, Canolis, and Peach filled Crepes. Jon and I were just short of drawing a map and attack plan on our fancy napkins just to be able to maximize our dessert experience. We settled for using a large dinner plate rather than the small designated one, and filled it with any sweet thing that appealed. And then we feasted.

Now I realize this may not look appetizing, but trust me it was.

This is me happy, yet miserably full. There's a thin line between the two, especially when creme brulee is involved. I'm contemplating ways to get Jon to carry me back to the hotel.

This is Jon still reliving the Berry Mousse. Although his smile looks sweet, this is not so. He had just rejected my plea to be carried home. What nerve he has.

It was truly enjoyable to spend a night together, splurge in food and calories, and celebrate our love.

A lot of It.

It's been a year.

When I think about our day: the people, the weather, the docorations, the love- it's all smile and reminiscent worthy. But admist all of this loveliness there is a quiet moment between Jon and I in the temple. While waiting for our guests to arrive, Jon and I were sitting in the Celestial Room. Our arms were touching, fingers intertwined, and mouths resting. Little words were spoken partly because our hearts were in anticpation, but mostly because I was uncontrollably crying. I'd like to think that it was a pretty cry of sorts but deep down I know the ugly cry won. I remember thinking "this dress is not a sitting dress and certainly not a crying dress, I must stop." I didn't stop. Breathing became optional. Jon just let me cry without questioning but gave me looks of perfect calm. People were handing me tissues and in between sobs I whispered "people are going to think I'm marrying you against my will!" While one hand was quietly rubbing my wet kleenex to shreds, Jon rythmically squeezed the other. It came time to move to the Sealing room; Jon, Kelsey, and the Tears entered. Thankfully, my tears eventually found company in the ones Jon shed, bringing sweet peace. It was a lovely Ceremony.

All the reasons for the tears are mostly unexplainable. But I can say a lot of it, was Love.

This past year has held joy, laughter, and growth. We've had adventures and dissapointments with sadness sprinkled here and there. Admittedly, we've slammed a few doors and kicked some walls, it was afterall our first year. We've created memories that throb with happiness. This year has held so much for us. And I can happily say,

A lot of it, was Love.

To be honest

It's called, Emma. Pillsbury. Style.

There's a part of me still crying for you

My Bangs make me feel mysterious

I only know how to run angry

Nutella by the fingerfulls

Child's Pose. Child's Pose. Child's Pose.

hello modge podge

A Little Sacrilege

The other night, I was making breakfast for dinner while on the phone with a friend. I left Jon to turn the bacon and watch the waffle iron while I finished my conversation. Simple tasks. When I came back into the kitchen, I instantly spied 1 piece of bacon laying on the paper towl. When I left the room, there was 6 pieces of bacon in the pan. I turned to accuse Jon and found a five year old boy standing there with his hand in the cookie jar. Instead of chocolate smeared, bacon grease shimmered around the corners of his mouth. He looked as if he himself was surprised at his Bacon feast, almost as if the Bacon attacked him in my absence, prying open his mouth and stuffing themselves down his throat. His look of defeat was arguably cute but given my hunger and length of my day, the boy was not free. I exclaimed my anger and bewilderment at the calculated action of eating 5 out of 6 pieces! How could he not think that I wanted some, that I deserved some? As you can guess the Bacon suddenly wasn't Bacon anymore. It was every little bothersome thing in life. Before eating we said a little prayer over the food which Jon offered. He was blessing all the proper things and I was nodding along, but mostly thinking about how mad I was that he left me one piece of Bacon. Suddenly I heard his voice change to the one that smiles. I peeked my eye open and sure enough,I found his eyes squinting due to the greasy smile spreading.
"And I'm really sorry for eating Kelsey's Bacon..."
Did he really just try to feign remorse in a prayer?
One squinty eye peeled open to see my reaction.
We laughed.
and laughed.
A little sacrilege.
But mostly much needed laughter.

Friends, Family, Fall

The Hot Chocolate sitting on my desk is telling me it's fall. We've been arguing about it all morning. I've been trying to tell it that the sun is still out and I'm still warm. The Hot Chocolate then questions why I'm drinking it then? The Hot Chocolate has a point.

I always feel a little hesitant towards Fall, contrary to what most people feel. You see I tend to see Fall as the sneaky season that mesmerizes with beautiful color and lulls with crunchy leafs. Before you know it you are standing feet deep in that white wet stuff wearing a heavy coat and ugly gloves. You ask yourself how you got yourself into the 6 month winter? The answer is Fall.
It's not that I don't find the season charming. The problem is that I do. Cardigans, Pumpkin Treats, Jackets, Honeycrisp Apples, and Cool Air. What's not to love? I just find it hard to attach myself to a season that stays for such a short time.
Luckily my hesitant heart had some help this year from visiting friends and family. My Fall started with a weekend spent with good friends. Bets and Trav, along with Ande drove down from Rexburg for Conference weekend. (I have only seen Ande once since being married, which is really wrong.) We spent the weekend lounging around, eating yummy food, watching Conference, and playing games. It felt good to be sitting on the couch with Jon on one side of me, head on my shoulder and then Ande on the other side, head on the shoulder. This isn't a metaphor. This is really what happens when I'm with both of them. Makes my heart happy. Bets and Trav are always so much fun to hang out with. I'm so glad that we are married friends! My good friend Ty Sainsbury made a quick visit as well. I hadn't seen him in over 2 years and it was so good to laugh with that kid again. I hated saying goodbye and felt that tiny wish in my heart concerning the state I live in.

Bets and Trav

This tends to happen.

Miss you Court and Ky

But lucky for me, my parents and the Watsons visited the very next weekend. I'm such a family/home girl. I absolutely love being with my family. We enjoyed our time together eating out, talking, shopping, and playing in Provo Canyon.

Uncle Jon lets the kids maul him

Cute

My favorite part of the weekend though was going to the temple together. It was so nice to be in the temple again with my family. Jon had to take a test that night and when he was finished he had about 10 minutes to make it to the temple. We were sitting in the room, waiting for the session to start and not really expecting him to make it. With every footstep we looked behind us with some hope for Jon and then it would be a random stranger. This happened several times. The Temple workers were checking their watches, and giving nods to start. My heart began to sink. The doors began to close and at the last minute, Jon slid his way in. My heart returned to it's proper place and danced a little. It felt so good to watch him walk in. It was just one of those moments that get you and make you feel.
When my parents bid us goodbye, my mom left me a note saying, "Thanks for liking us enough to hang out with us." That's exactly how I was feeling. I'm thankful I have friends and family that like us enough to hang out with us. We so enjoy the time we get to spend time with the people we love.
I'm happy to say that it is Fall. Despite my knowledge of where this season takes us, I suppose I'm along for the ride. It's been wonderful so far!

Sing They Do!

I can't get the song " I know that my Savior loves me" out of my head. Which is weird because I don't even know all the words, because it's one those new primary songs. I didn't even realize there was new primary songs. But there is. Oh but there is.

When Jon and I moved into our Condo we were presented with the choice of attending the Family Ward in that area or the BYU Married Student Ward. I had a distinct feeling that we needed to attend the Family Ward, so we obeyed and attended. Between the indisputable fact that we were invisible to the members in the ward along with the vast difference in the life span between us and most members, "that feeling" was certainly questioned. Those first few weeks, we took turns doubting, dragging, and cursing while the other did the smiles and the shaking of hands. Within a few weeks of this coping arrangement we were asked to give a talk in Sacrament Meeting. We both played the role of dragging that week as we prepared for our talks. However, our experience talking in Sacrament Meeting turned out to be truly wonderful. Suddenly we were seen and suddenly we were heard. We recieved such a warm greeting from all the members which continued past that one week. Our steps suddenly became lighter and our mouths spent more time smiling than murmuring. The following week we were called and extended a calling.
Primary Teachers.
Although we were thrilled to finally be a part of the ward and feel involved, we were intimidated by our new calling. Being the youngest child, my nieces and nephews are my only experience with kids. Jon being a convert to the church, has never participated in Primary and was actually very unfamiliar with the whole program. We both were weary about the responsibility to teach little children. But between laughing at the absurdity of teaching our eight 8 year old kids and the enjoyable moments we've had so far, the intimidation has subsided. My favorite moments with them thus far:

- On our first Sunday we sat in front of the kids and began to introduce ourselves. One girl with her legs crossed and arms matching interrupted our Hello...
" So how long have you been married" she asks.
Me: Umm close to a year, not very-
"So you have already been on your Honeymoon then?"
Me: Yes...
" Where did you go?"
Realizing she wanted short answers.
Me: Mexico.
" New Mexico or just Mexico?"
Me: Just Mexico.
" No one goes to New Mexico, just Mexico."
It felt like a test. And I seemed to have passed it?

- There is a girl that wears those perfect little dresses made up of chiffon and velvet with accenting bows. She has a matching headband in her hair, the longest dark eyelashes, and hardly speaks a word. While sitting next to her during Sharing Time she leans over and whispers" My feet are sweaty...like really sweaty. And these are new shoes!" She was swinging her feet back and forth as she made me her new confidant.

- While practicing for the primary program the boy sitting next to me taps me on the shoulder. I turn to find a freckled hand extended, palm up. Lying in the center is a green jelly bean. I knew the jelly bean had been squished in his fist for a while because there was green coloring splotched all over his palm. The thought of eating a sweaty jelly bean was enough to gag but I knew I couldn't reject his offer. So I took it, smiled, and gulped it down. He then proceeded to tell me it was a Bertie Botts Every Flavor Jelly Bean and I had gotten Booger. Double gag. Good thing I like Harry Potter little boy.

I think my favorite moment though has come from my own Jon.

- After a long Sunday of practicing for the Primary Program, Jon and I stumble into our car. Before starting the car, Jon lays his head back and lets out a long sigh. I ask him if he's ok and he responds with "Yeah I'm fine..I just had no idea that Primary kids sing that much!"

And Sing they do. This calling has been an excellent learning experience for us. I know that we are truly benefiting from being a part of this ward and fulfilling our calling. I'm grateful to serve with Jon and be able to learn and enjoy together (It's been so fun to watch Jon as he goes through Primary for the first time). And I'm actually quite thankful to have a constant stream of Primary Songs playing in my head.

A Pillow of Books

My Senior year of High School I took an Anatomy and Physiology class. I took the class with the thought that it was required for graduation or some nonsense like that when really it was an elective of sorts. I have never nor will ever, have any interest in how the body functions. I'm perfectly content with my body working, who needs the confusing details? My teacher sensed my lack of interest in the material right away and seemed to peg me as a wasted use of a chair. I seemed to share her ability of sense, and pegged her as a waste of my regular effort in teacher approval. Thus developed my daily routine in her class.

I would walk into class after a good Safeway provided lunch and take my seat in the back. We made eye contact, I was marked present. I then proceeded to stack my large Anatomy book on top of my History book, topped with my purse and laid my head down. An hour and a half later I would wake up to the bell, pick up my books, pat my sleep imprinted cheek, and move on to history. My teacher never woke me or addressed my mental absence, we had an unspoken agreement it seemed. Although occasionally she would feel devious and call on me to answer a question. I would get nudged and somehow be able to work up a response fitting enough to rest my head once more on my pillow of books. I was never once embarrassed when awakened, panicked when discovered, or held accountable for my social wrong. After all, I had teenage immunity. I mean really what is expected out of a teenage student? Not much at all. Thus immunity. (I will add I still pulled a B in the class)

Today I discovered I most certainly have lost my teenage immunity.

It was the slowest of work days. All my tasks were completed, nails were bitten, and snacks were eaten. The phone was beautifully quiet and I was alone. Our office door was ajar and the rain was pouring down. I casually put my purse on top of the desk and leaned my elbow on it just a little. Next came my head, just to rest lightly on my hand. And then my head slowly slid down arm and found rest on my purse. My eyelids were opening and closing to the rhythm of the raindrops until...well until they weren't. They were closed. They remained closed.

A half hour later I was nudged by a student and I began to fumble for an answer. I opened my eyes expecting a classroom and testing teacher. Not a student, not a classroom, and most certainly not a teacher. My Boss was staring down at me. And that's when I felt them:

Embarrassment

Panic

Accountablity.

And so I did what was obviously sensible- I smiled up at him, rubbed my sleep imprinted cheek, and wished I was packing up for History.

Jon and Kel Plus Twelve's Summer Premier and Finale

I felt Summer Come.

I felt it come while walking barefoot on hot pavement. I said to jon, "It's summer. We do summer!" He smiled and asked for a definition. I simply explained we are summer people. Summer makes us happy. Winter makes us sad. We don't do Winter. We do summer. He simply agreed with my declaration and said "We do do summer."

I felt summer stay.

I felt it while laying on the grass at night. I felt the cool and the warmth that only summer can place upon a night.

Jon and I did summer. Although it was different and slightly wrong to not be in Moses Lake, Jon and I managed to hold summer in our hands and squeeze tight.

Jon and Kel Plus Twelve Summer Season Clips:

- Finishing our place and feeling it become our home.

- Pretending the Pool at our complex was my pool back home.

- Watching my Brother get married to Mal and having the family all together for the celebration.

- Having a wonderful weekend with my Froommates.

- Spending 4th of July week with Jon's parents: eating yummy food, Canasta, and them buying us everything we looked at!

- Spending hours at The Farmer's Market oohing and awing and lovin the creativity.


- Becoming slightly obsessed with Grilled Corn on the Cob. Butter and Salt completes me.

- Falling in love with Peach Smoothies.

- Spending a night listening to an old favorite, Secondhand Serenade.

- Discovering Sammy's Pie Milkshakes. It's real pie!

- Making it to Washington for a short but very lovely weekend which consisted of Addy's baptism, good conversation, good food, laughter, games, and the Marble Family Reunion.
- Getting swept away into So You Think You Can Dance.

- Finally passing my test and getting a $1.50 raise. I felt like this.

- Both Expanding our domesticity ( I made Apricot Jam and Jon cooked for me!)

- Getting to spend some good time with Brandon and Mal since they are only 20 minutes away! We love it.

- Picking up a new show: Covert Affairs. Has enough suspense and intrigue for Jon and has no sick weird killing stuff for me.

- Lunch Break Dates. Best part of my day.

And then...

I felt summer leave.

I felt it leave when school crept in and kidnapped my husband. Our endless days of nothing and everything are over. The clock's hands have been released and they're ticking and tocking all over our sunshine. However Summer was polite and sentimental, allowing us the proper goodbye. It went something like this...

Stepping onto a boat

Jumping into green

Popping up on the wakeboard

First try. (both rocked it)

It was the perfect goodbye. So Long Sweet Summer.

Hallelujah!

Kind of a big deal.

So Happy.

So Blessed.