Lack of Restraint

One of the requirements for my job is to take an insurance exam. It's been said that taking this exam produces certification, eligibility for commision, and a lovely dollar an hour pay raise.

It's been said.

However, my experience with this test full of 21 years worth of unfamiliar material, is quite the opposite.This exam has produced a $160 hole in my pocket(it costs 80 bucks a pop), $160 worth of serious questioning of hire on my Boss's part, many declarations of "I could have passed on the first try" from my ever so confident husband, and inevitable personal disappointment due to four test failures.

And yet with these obvious negatives, my disappointment is centered on something else entirely.

You see the day of my 3rd attempt this sweetness was sitting on my door step...

Kind of cute I suppose from the over confident husband of mine.

Our deal was if I passed the test I could curl up with this little beauty.

If I didn't pass, I wasn't allowed possession of the book due to my lack of restraint and priority.

Oh how I want to be back in the world of distorted districts, skin prickling suspense, and a baker boy's charm!

Oh and I suppose a pay raise would be nice too.

Even Though.

My older brother got married the other day.

I watched all the proper stages and transitions of the two; friendship,interests, dating, exclusive, engagement.

I helped plan the proposal.

I Oohed and Awed over wedding plans.

I attended the Beautiful Sealing.

But with all of these obvious indications of rings and love, I still was not completely convinced that my brother was married.

In the midst of happy family hugging after the ceremony, Brandon whispered to me "We no longer have to stand together in family pictures. We have spouses now!" I laughed, he laughed. Then I cried a little.

Cause even though it was slightly awkward that us single siblings constantly looked like we were married in all family pictures...

And even though we both looked forward to the day where we could join our older siblings in marital bliss...

And even though we both dreaded taking family pictures for this single awareness reason...

Brandon was a really good picture buddy.

I realized my Brother was Married Today.

Goodbye my Picture Buddy.

I will miss you.

My Favorite Part

My job is repetitive.
I arrive at the same time (approximately 30 seconds early), fill up my water bottle, and feed the entertaining fish that sit in front of my desk. I then spend the next hour or so calling insurance "leads" from the internet. Which translates into me calling number after number of rude and disinterested people with one or two valid interests with manners. The rest of my day contains quoting, calling, making payments, and filing. I have reached the point in my job where I've realized my brain may choose to be completely absent without effecting the effeciency of my work production. This realization comes with a lot of yawns and a need for sucky candy and snacks to keep at least my body focused and functioning. So when the opportunity of varried tasks arise I scramble for them.
One such rogue task that I look foward to is the scanning of checks. Most clients pay with credit cards which is a minor job of typing in numbers and pressing submit. But when checks come I get to scan it in the little machine that sucks the check in and swirls it in a half circle and shoots it back out. It's the same machine used at banks. It makes a little zipping sound that is completely thrilling to me.
The other day I came across one such little treasure and composed my face in perfect casuality as my brain checked back into my body for the excitement. My boss happened to be over my shoulder double checking his payment calculation. I began prepping myself for the upcoming pleasure. All of a sudden he grabbed hold of the check for verfication. Stay cool I told myself, do not let him know your secret. He then began to walk towards the scanner. I began to bar my mouth and place the guards to insure nothing stupid was going to escape. He began to place the check in the slot and I could hear the machine rousing itself for the glorious process. With too many thoughts and not enough restraint on duty, my mouth cried out " Stop that's my favorite Part!" My boss stopped and turned his head to access my sincerity. Due to my half out of my seat position coupled with the bright red face he realized that I was dead serious. Once I scolded my mouth a few times for letting such a stupid confession slip out I found enough grace as I would like to call it to shrug my shoulders and say "I like feeling like a banker." Oh yeah like that made it better. Thank you very much mouth, i expected it from the Brain but boy you really failed your guard job. After some great chuckles at my expense, my boss placed the check in my hand and gave me full reign of "my favorite part."
Yes I'm looking for a new mouth that actually does it job guarding my thoughts from making such a painful entrance into the world.