A lot of It.

It's been a year.

When I think about our day: the people, the weather, the docorations, the love- it's all smile and reminiscent worthy. But admist all of this loveliness there is a quiet moment between Jon and I in the temple. While waiting for our guests to arrive, Jon and I were sitting in the Celestial Room. Our arms were touching, fingers intertwined, and mouths resting. Little words were spoken partly because our hearts were in anticpation, but mostly because I was uncontrollably crying. I'd like to think that it was a pretty cry of sorts but deep down I know the ugly cry won. I remember thinking "this dress is not a sitting dress and certainly not a crying dress, I must stop." I didn't stop. Breathing became optional. Jon just let me cry without questioning but gave me looks of perfect calm. People were handing me tissues and in between sobs I whispered "people are going to think I'm marrying you against my will!" While one hand was quietly rubbing my wet kleenex to shreds, Jon rythmically squeezed the other. It came time to move to the Sealing room; Jon, Kelsey, and the Tears entered. Thankfully, my tears eventually found company in the ones Jon shed, bringing sweet peace. It was a lovely Ceremony.

All the reasons for the tears are mostly unexplainable. But I can say a lot of it, was Love.

This past year has held joy, laughter, and growth. We've had adventures and dissapointments with sadness sprinkled here and there. Admittedly, we've slammed a few doors and kicked some walls, it was afterall our first year. We've created memories that throb with happiness. This year has held so much for us. And I can happily say,

A lot of it, was Love.

To be honest

It's called, Emma. Pillsbury. Style.

There's a part of me still crying for you

My Bangs make me feel mysterious

I only know how to run angry

Nutella by the fingerfulls

Child's Pose. Child's Pose. Child's Pose.

hello modge podge

A Little Sacrilege

The other night, I was making breakfast for dinner while on the phone with a friend. I left Jon to turn the bacon and watch the waffle iron while I finished my conversation. Simple tasks. When I came back into the kitchen, I instantly spied 1 piece of bacon laying on the paper towl. When I left the room, there was 6 pieces of bacon in the pan. I turned to accuse Jon and found a five year old boy standing there with his hand in the cookie jar. Instead of chocolate smeared, bacon grease shimmered around the corners of his mouth. He looked as if he himself was surprised at his Bacon feast, almost as if the Bacon attacked him in my absence, prying open his mouth and stuffing themselves down his throat. His look of defeat was arguably cute but given my hunger and length of my day, the boy was not free. I exclaimed my anger and bewilderment at the calculated action of eating 5 out of 6 pieces! How could he not think that I wanted some, that I deserved some? As you can guess the Bacon suddenly wasn't Bacon anymore. It was every little bothersome thing in life. Before eating we said a little prayer over the food which Jon offered. He was blessing all the proper things and I was nodding along, but mostly thinking about how mad I was that he left me one piece of Bacon. Suddenly I heard his voice change to the one that smiles. I peeked my eye open and sure enough,I found his eyes squinting due to the greasy smile spreading.
"And I'm really sorry for eating Kelsey's Bacon..."
Did he really just try to feign remorse in a prayer?
One squinty eye peeled open to see my reaction.
We laughed.
and laughed.
A little sacrilege.
But mostly much needed laughter.

Friends, Family, Fall

The Hot Chocolate sitting on my desk is telling me it's fall. We've been arguing about it all morning. I've been trying to tell it that the sun is still out and I'm still warm. The Hot Chocolate then questions why I'm drinking it then? The Hot Chocolate has a point.

I always feel a little hesitant towards Fall, contrary to what most people feel. You see I tend to see Fall as the sneaky season that mesmerizes with beautiful color and lulls with crunchy leafs. Before you know it you are standing feet deep in that white wet stuff wearing a heavy coat and ugly gloves. You ask yourself how you got yourself into the 6 month winter? The answer is Fall.
It's not that I don't find the season charming. The problem is that I do. Cardigans, Pumpkin Treats, Jackets, Honeycrisp Apples, and Cool Air. What's not to love? I just find it hard to attach myself to a season that stays for such a short time.
Luckily my hesitant heart had some help this year from visiting friends and family. My Fall started with a weekend spent with good friends. Bets and Trav, along with Ande drove down from Rexburg for Conference weekend. (I have only seen Ande once since being married, which is really wrong.) We spent the weekend lounging around, eating yummy food, watching Conference, and playing games. It felt good to be sitting on the couch with Jon on one side of me, head on my shoulder and then Ande on the other side, head on the shoulder. This isn't a metaphor. This is really what happens when I'm with both of them. Makes my heart happy. Bets and Trav are always so much fun to hang out with. I'm so glad that we are married friends! My good friend Ty Sainsbury made a quick visit as well. I hadn't seen him in over 2 years and it was so good to laugh with that kid again. I hated saying goodbye and felt that tiny wish in my heart concerning the state I live in.

Bets and Trav

This tends to happen.

Miss you Court and Ky

But lucky for me, my parents and the Watsons visited the very next weekend. I'm such a family/home girl. I absolutely love being with my family. We enjoyed our time together eating out, talking, shopping, and playing in Provo Canyon.

Uncle Jon lets the kids maul him

Cute

My favorite part of the weekend though was going to the temple together. It was so nice to be in the temple again with my family. Jon had to take a test that night and when he was finished he had about 10 minutes to make it to the temple. We were sitting in the room, waiting for the session to start and not really expecting him to make it. With every footstep we looked behind us with some hope for Jon and then it would be a random stranger. This happened several times. The Temple workers were checking their watches, and giving nods to start. My heart began to sink. The doors began to close and at the last minute, Jon slid his way in. My heart returned to it's proper place and danced a little. It felt so good to watch him walk in. It was just one of those moments that get you and make you feel.
When my parents bid us goodbye, my mom left me a note saying, "Thanks for liking us enough to hang out with us." That's exactly how I was feeling. I'm thankful I have friends and family that like us enough to hang out with us. We so enjoy the time we get to spend time with the people we love.
I'm happy to say that it is Fall. Despite my knowledge of where this season takes us, I suppose I'm along for the ride. It's been wonderful so far!

Sing They Do!

I can't get the song " I know that my Savior loves me" out of my head. Which is weird because I don't even know all the words, because it's one those new primary songs. I didn't even realize there was new primary songs. But there is. Oh but there is.

When Jon and I moved into our Condo we were presented with the choice of attending the Family Ward in that area or the BYU Married Student Ward. I had a distinct feeling that we needed to attend the Family Ward, so we obeyed and attended. Between the indisputable fact that we were invisible to the members in the ward along with the vast difference in the life span between us and most members, "that feeling" was certainly questioned. Those first few weeks, we took turns doubting, dragging, and cursing while the other did the smiles and the shaking of hands. Within a few weeks of this coping arrangement we were asked to give a talk in Sacrament Meeting. We both played the role of dragging that week as we prepared for our talks. However, our experience talking in Sacrament Meeting turned out to be truly wonderful. Suddenly we were seen and suddenly we were heard. We recieved such a warm greeting from all the members which continued past that one week. Our steps suddenly became lighter and our mouths spent more time smiling than murmuring. The following week we were called and extended a calling.
Primary Teachers.
Although we were thrilled to finally be a part of the ward and feel involved, we were intimidated by our new calling. Being the youngest child, my nieces and nephews are my only experience with kids. Jon being a convert to the church, has never participated in Primary and was actually very unfamiliar with the whole program. We both were weary about the responsibility to teach little children. But between laughing at the absurdity of teaching our eight 8 year old kids and the enjoyable moments we've had so far, the intimidation has subsided. My favorite moments with them thus far:

- On our first Sunday we sat in front of the kids and began to introduce ourselves. One girl with her legs crossed and arms matching interrupted our Hello...
" So how long have you been married" she asks.
Me: Umm close to a year, not very-
"So you have already been on your Honeymoon then?"
Me: Yes...
" Where did you go?"
Realizing she wanted short answers.
Me: Mexico.
" New Mexico or just Mexico?"
Me: Just Mexico.
" No one goes to New Mexico, just Mexico."
It felt like a test. And I seemed to have passed it?

- There is a girl that wears those perfect little dresses made up of chiffon and velvet with accenting bows. She has a matching headband in her hair, the longest dark eyelashes, and hardly speaks a word. While sitting next to her during Sharing Time she leans over and whispers" My feet are sweaty...like really sweaty. And these are new shoes!" She was swinging her feet back and forth as she made me her new confidant.

- While practicing for the primary program the boy sitting next to me taps me on the shoulder. I turn to find a freckled hand extended, palm up. Lying in the center is a green jelly bean. I knew the jelly bean had been squished in his fist for a while because there was green coloring splotched all over his palm. The thought of eating a sweaty jelly bean was enough to gag but I knew I couldn't reject his offer. So I took it, smiled, and gulped it down. He then proceeded to tell me it was a Bertie Botts Every Flavor Jelly Bean and I had gotten Booger. Double gag. Good thing I like Harry Potter little boy.

I think my favorite moment though has come from my own Jon.

- After a long Sunday of practicing for the Primary Program, Jon and I stumble into our car. Before starting the car, Jon lays his head back and lets out a long sigh. I ask him if he's ok and he responds with "Yeah I'm fine..I just had no idea that Primary kids sing that much!"

And Sing they do. This calling has been an excellent learning experience for us. I know that we are truly benefiting from being a part of this ward and fulfilling our calling. I'm grateful to serve with Jon and be able to learn and enjoy together (It's been so fun to watch Jon as he goes through Primary for the first time). And I'm actually quite thankful to have a constant stream of Primary Songs playing in my head.

A Pillow of Books

My Senior year of High School I took an Anatomy and Physiology class. I took the class with the thought that it was required for graduation or some nonsense like that when really it was an elective of sorts. I have never nor will ever, have any interest in how the body functions. I'm perfectly content with my body working, who needs the confusing details? My teacher sensed my lack of interest in the material right away and seemed to peg me as a wasted use of a chair. I seemed to share her ability of sense, and pegged her as a waste of my regular effort in teacher approval. Thus developed my daily routine in her class.

I would walk into class after a good Safeway provided lunch and take my seat in the back. We made eye contact, I was marked present. I then proceeded to stack my large Anatomy book on top of my History book, topped with my purse and laid my head down. An hour and a half later I would wake up to the bell, pick up my books, pat my sleep imprinted cheek, and move on to history. My teacher never woke me or addressed my mental absence, we had an unspoken agreement it seemed. Although occasionally she would feel devious and call on me to answer a question. I would get nudged and somehow be able to work up a response fitting enough to rest my head once more on my pillow of books. I was never once embarrassed when awakened, panicked when discovered, or held accountable for my social wrong. After all, I had teenage immunity. I mean really what is expected out of a teenage student? Not much at all. Thus immunity. (I will add I still pulled a B in the class)

Today I discovered I most certainly have lost my teenage immunity.

It was the slowest of work days. All my tasks were completed, nails were bitten, and snacks were eaten. The phone was beautifully quiet and I was alone. Our office door was ajar and the rain was pouring down. I casually put my purse on top of the desk and leaned my elbow on it just a little. Next came my head, just to rest lightly on my hand. And then my head slowly slid down arm and found rest on my purse. My eyelids were opening and closing to the rhythm of the raindrops until...well until they weren't. They were closed. They remained closed.

A half hour later I was nudged by a student and I began to fumble for an answer. I opened my eyes expecting a classroom and testing teacher. Not a student, not a classroom, and most certainly not a teacher. My Boss was staring down at me. And that's when I felt them:

Embarrassment

Panic

Accountablity.

And so I did what was obviously sensible- I smiled up at him, rubbed my sleep imprinted cheek, and wished I was packing up for History.

Jon and Kel Plus Twelve's Summer Premier and Finale

I felt Summer Come.

I felt it come while walking barefoot on hot pavement. I said to jon, "It's summer. We do summer!" He smiled and asked for a definition. I simply explained we are summer people. Summer makes us happy. Winter makes us sad. We don't do Winter. We do summer. He simply agreed with my declaration and said "We do do summer."

I felt summer stay.

I felt it while laying on the grass at night. I felt the cool and the warmth that only summer can place upon a night.

Jon and I did summer. Although it was different and slightly wrong to not be in Moses Lake, Jon and I managed to hold summer in our hands and squeeze tight.

Jon and Kel Plus Twelve Summer Season Clips:

- Finishing our place and feeling it become our home.

- Pretending the Pool at our complex was my pool back home.

- Watching my Brother get married to Mal and having the family all together for the celebration.

- Having a wonderful weekend with my Froommates.

- Spending 4th of July week with Jon's parents: eating yummy food, Canasta, and them buying us everything we looked at!

- Spending hours at The Farmer's Market oohing and awing and lovin the creativity.


- Becoming slightly obsessed with Grilled Corn on the Cob. Butter and Salt completes me.

- Falling in love with Peach Smoothies.

- Spending a night listening to an old favorite, Secondhand Serenade.

- Discovering Sammy's Pie Milkshakes. It's real pie!

- Making it to Washington for a short but very lovely weekend which consisted of Addy's baptism, good conversation, good food, laughter, games, and the Marble Family Reunion.
- Getting swept away into So You Think You Can Dance.

- Finally passing my test and getting a $1.50 raise. I felt like this.

- Both Expanding our domesticity ( I made Apricot Jam and Jon cooked for me!)

- Getting to spend some good time with Brandon and Mal since they are only 20 minutes away! We love it.

- Picking up a new show: Covert Affairs. Has enough suspense and intrigue for Jon and has no sick weird killing stuff for me.

- Lunch Break Dates. Best part of my day.

And then...

I felt summer leave.

I felt it leave when school crept in and kidnapped my husband. Our endless days of nothing and everything are over. The clock's hands have been released and they're ticking and tocking all over our sunshine. However Summer was polite and sentimental, allowing us the proper goodbye. It went something like this...

Stepping onto a boat

Jumping into green

Popping up on the wakeboard

First try. (both rocked it)

It was the perfect goodbye. So Long Sweet Summer.

Hallelujah!

Kind of a big deal.

So Happy.

So Blessed.

Just for Today.

Everyone is clicking their pencils and lugging books and I'm sitting behind a desk. Hands are raising and knowledge is transferring but the phone is ringing. It used to feel nice to have a response to that ever looming question, "What are you doing these days?" It was far better than my 2 month lasting answer of " looking for a job." But now I hear the words "office assistant" drop from my mouth and I lunge out of my body to hide and cover my ears as the words hit the floor. I'm an assistant. I spend my day fulfilling assingnments, favors, and duties for everyone else. Anyone else. My highheeled feet are poised on the floor appearing sturdy as I work. But if you looked at them closely, I'm digging my heel into the carpet and just hoping to make it big enough to fall into.
Today I want to be behind a different kind of desk obeying the orders that only come from Academia. I want to feel brilliant and shiny. I want to stretch. I want to turn pages. I want to breath ink.
I love my life. I know that I'm blessed to have a job. I know that I'm blessed to have a determined and successful husband. I know that I'm blessed to put him through school. I love my life.
But just for today, just for a moment...
I'm digging my heel into the carpet.

I just really want to finish school.

Three Winks

I winked three winks today. One with my left eye and two with my right.

My right one is afterall, better.

A few weeks before my Grandpa died I went with my mom to clean his house and visit. I sat in the stool next to him eating our sandwhiches and lightly swinging my feet. He turned to me and asked about the boy I was dating (Jon). I began to share bits of him with my Grandpa while he nodded and chewed. When I finished, he responded with a bark of a question.

"Do you love him?"

I smiled and responded with a bark of my own " Yes I do!"

"Is that right?"

I shyly nodded. I didn't know at that moment of seemingly casual conversation and swinging legs what his approaching words would mean to me. I watched as his wrinkles shifted from soft to stern. His hand curled into a fist and discharged his large pointer finger. And his eyes filled with experience reflecting tears.

"Well I have to tell you something about love. Love. is. not. Debateable. You either love someone or you don't, there is no question, there is no middle."

They were spoken so aloud but felt so quietly.

My Grandpa died a few weeks later, just a few days after I told him I was engaged. In response, I received a shout into the phone of "oh I knew it!"

He did know it. Just as he knew how much my heart needed his words. I put them up in my room that summer, next to his picture. I often found my eyes seeking solace when love seemed to fall in the middle and became easy to tug each way. I always found solace. And love was always placed back in it's proper spot. Even now, when it all gets too heavy and daunting, my Grandpa's wagging finger and overflow of love and wisdom come to lift and fill.

Love. is. not. Debateable.

I winked three winks today. One with my left eye and two with my right.

The action felt familiar but rusted.

I winked to say I miss you.

I winked to say I love you.

And I winked to say Thank You.

I'm sure he winked back.

He was afterall, an excellent winker.

Perfectly Imperfect

August 21, 2009
.....
One surprised girl with yesterday's eats unremoved from her teeth.
One boy scared out of his mind.
.....
One surprised girl, dirty teethed, and wearing a past boyfriends T shirt.
One boy scared out of his mind, voicing words with heart.
.....
One surprised girl, dirty teethed, past on back, crying.
One boy scared out of his mind, voicing heart, and asking.
......
One surprised girl, dirty teethed, past on back, crying, and quietly yessing.
One boy scared out of his mind, all voiced, heart full, and answered.
......

Platform 9 and...

I'm convinced there are two different types of people in this world.

"Harry Potter Lovers."

and

"Too Cool for Harry Potterers."

With full heart and pride I declare myself as a full time member in the first group. I am a "Harry Potter lover." I've devoured all seven books multiple times and have felt a constant void since the end of the 7th. I mourned at the deaths of Dumbledore, and Sirius and I still shiver at the word Avada Kedavra. I allow Harry the credit of brilliance when really his trusted friends and luck deserve the wizarding worlds praise. With these traits that belong to the Lovers, comes the tendency to spurt Harry Potter References:

"If I just had some Gillyweed" gasped as I popped out of the swimming pool water.

"It's like we are in Diagon Alley and just stepped into Weasley's shop!" blurted as I stepped into a toy store full of talking stuffed animals, bubbles, and flying toy airplanes.

" I really could use a Pensieve and a wand right now" said forlornly on a particularly stressful day.

I reference. I reference because there is a large part of me that has confused reality with book driven imagination. And I'm perfectly content with that confusion.

But here's the thing....I have married a man that is not a Harry Potter Lover.

I have married a "Too Cool Harry Potterer."

Oh it brings such pain when I think of it. I've spent years trying to change this unfortunate choice of his and initiate him in the world of Potter Happiness. The boy has refused my persuasion, cringed at my open nerdiness, and used every opportunity to roll eyes at my clever references.

At a time where I had resigned myself to the drawn line between our book preference, my "Too Cool Harry Potter husband cracked."

The two of us; lover and too cool, walked hand in hand through the airport trying to locate our gate. We were looking for B17. As we walked, scanning the indicator signs we saw a sign reading B16 & B14 on the left. We looked to the right and saw B15 and then further down at the end of the terminal B18. B17 was missing it seemed, nowhere to be seen. As I began to ask Jon what we should do, lovely words filled my ears.

" Maybe this is like Harry Potter and we have to push through the walls like platfrom 9 1/2"

I began to correct his platform number when it suddenly dawned on me what he just said.

A Harry Potter Reference!

Much to Jon's surprise and gladness, he quickly found that one Harry Potter Reference has the effects of approximately 3 flower bouquets, 5 voluntary kitchen cleanings, and 4 bowls of buttery popcorn.

The Effect: Pure Joy.

If the boy is smart he will take advantage of this new found weakness of mine. Now, If I'm smart... I will take advantage of this small crack and slowly and stealthily, turn him into a...Harry Potter Lover!

Ninety vs. One Hundred

I'd like to say I gained my testimony of tithing when I was seven.

I remember sitting quietly in Sunday School as rowdy boys ran swirls of irreverence into the carpet. The ever resilient teacher managed to break through the little boy mayhem with a "hands on" lesson. The teacher handed each of us a 1 dollar bill. Our fidgety hands found peace within the green folds of the cash which allowed our ears to listen. He taught about the law of tithing, how it was revealed, and how to uphold this law. He explained that the Lord wants 10% of our earnings. So in our case the Lord needed 10 pennies. He challenged each of us to pay our tithing and on the way out the door he handed each of us a tithing slip with an encouraging smile...

I remember turning the dollar over in my hand contemplating on shaking the lesson right out of my ears and stepping on it on my way to Franks Market. You see the minute the green touched my fingers I thought about blue raspberry, grape, apple, and strawberry tootsie rolls. My dollar could get me 100 of those little delights. But if I paid my tithing as instructed I would be out 10 tootsie rolls. After some serious consideration I realized it wouldn't be so bad if Heavenly Father only wanted 10 tootsie rolls. I mean my earthly dad's "tax" always left me at least 30 short. So I ended up putting a dime in an envelope and a spark of something in my heart.

I'd like to say I gained my testimony of tithing when I was seven. But this is not the case. The real testimony came when more than one dollar bill was in my grasp. The testimony came when I realized that Heavenly Father needs a lot more than just 10 tootsie rolls. I find myself month to month standing like a seven year old clutching my money and debating wether I will spend it on grown up tootsie rolls like mortgage payments, car insurance, and bills instead of sharing with Heavenly Father. I somehow tell myself I can spare a few and place the money in the envelope and add some faith to that growing spark in my heart.

The amazing thing is every month when we expect to come up short, we are blessed in excess. The blessings come in different forms such as a dollar raise to my salary and forgotten housing deposits. Each are beautifully merciful and very much appreciated. I'm so thankful for the testimony I grew of tithing. I'm so thankful for the joy that comes from having faith and living the gospel. And I'm so thankful that Heavenly Father always seems to share some of his tootsie rolls with me too.

"Listening to the Songs we used to Sing"

Summer Night.

One foot in the past and the other in the present.

"Listening to the songs we used to sing."

Love.

Roommates with an F

My Freshman Summer of College was full of fun, spontaneity, sorrow, drama, and joy. All these emotions were shared with my three wonderful froommates. Roommates with an F because we weren't just girls who lived together. We were friends. In the midst of catching sun, skipping class, and TV watching marathons, the topic of boys wasn't far from our lips. We wondered who each of us would find and where our lives would take us. And then suddenly it seemed, one by one the four of us got picked away from our worn spots on the couch in Brookside 207. Dang boys.

Last weekend the four of us accompanied with those boys reunited in our old College Home away from Home...Swan Valley.It was so great to be reunited, reminisce, and enjoy.

It was nice to know...

... That we could still have slumber Parties together.

... And that we could still soak up the sun

... That we still enjoy some good lovin' food.

... That our boys could laugh and enjoy.

... And that we still could too.

... It's just nice to know that we are still more than roommates.

We are good friends.

He's Home

There's a shoebox under my bed back home. Inside you will find scraps of sentimental representations of a boy and girl. There's pictures and old gifts that lie inside along with letters postmarked between two countries. The box is tied with a ribbon of teenage love and in black marker, Jon's name is scribbled.

Two weeks ago we celebrated the year mark of Jon's return from his mission. That little box made an appearance in my mind and I mentally thumbed through the contents. Our letters were not epic love poems by any means. In fact they were far from them. I smiled at the words that were found inside those eagerly ripped envelopes. Because even though words were exchanged that sounded a little like this:

Dear Kelsey,
I actually mean Dear Jane.
Love, Jon

Reply:

Dear Jon,
This is a real dear Jon.
Love, Kelsey

And just because I may have made a subconcious rekindling attempt that looked like that (2 weeks before he got home):
Dear Jon,
I was just in Europe and couldn't help but think that we were in the closest physical proximity to eachother that we've been in two whole years. I'm really excited for you to come home.
Love, Kelsey

And got the funny and endearing response of this:
Dear Kelsey,
I have to say that I'm utterly confused as to how you feel about me...Well I guess we will just have to see when I come home.
Love, Jon

We still ended up looking like this six or so months later:

I'm so thankful that a year ago that confused boy came home from his mission. I'm so thankful that we could forget about the janes and the dears. I'm thankful that we replaced rekindling attempts with successes and chased away all that confusion. I'm thankful for the man that he became and the experiences we've had. Lastly, I'm thankful for the shoebox that holds the beautiful mess of lined paper that tells the story of us.

My boy is home.

Lack of Restraint

One of the requirements for my job is to take an insurance exam. It's been said that taking this exam produces certification, eligibility for commision, and a lovely dollar an hour pay raise.

It's been said.

However, my experience with this test full of 21 years worth of unfamiliar material, is quite the opposite.This exam has produced a $160 hole in my pocket(it costs 80 bucks a pop), $160 worth of serious questioning of hire on my Boss's part, many declarations of "I could have passed on the first try" from my ever so confident husband, and inevitable personal disappointment due to four test failures.

And yet with these obvious negatives, my disappointment is centered on something else entirely.

You see the day of my 3rd attempt this sweetness was sitting on my door step...

Kind of cute I suppose from the over confident husband of mine.

Our deal was if I passed the test I could curl up with this little beauty.

If I didn't pass, I wasn't allowed possession of the book due to my lack of restraint and priority.

Oh how I want to be back in the world of distorted districts, skin prickling suspense, and a baker boy's charm!

Oh and I suppose a pay raise would be nice too.

Even Though.

My older brother got married the other day.

I watched all the proper stages and transitions of the two; friendship,interests, dating, exclusive, engagement.

I helped plan the proposal.

I Oohed and Awed over wedding plans.

I attended the Beautiful Sealing.

But with all of these obvious indications of rings and love, I still was not completely convinced that my brother was married.

In the midst of happy family hugging after the ceremony, Brandon whispered to me "We no longer have to stand together in family pictures. We have spouses now!" I laughed, he laughed. Then I cried a little.

Cause even though it was slightly awkward that us single siblings constantly looked like we were married in all family pictures...

And even though we both looked forward to the day where we could join our older siblings in marital bliss...

And even though we both dreaded taking family pictures for this single awareness reason...

Brandon was a really good picture buddy.

I realized my Brother was Married Today.

Goodbye my Picture Buddy.

I will miss you.

My Favorite Part

My job is repetitive.
I arrive at the same time (approximately 30 seconds early), fill up my water bottle, and feed the entertaining fish that sit in front of my desk. I then spend the next hour or so calling insurance "leads" from the internet. Which translates into me calling number after number of rude and disinterested people with one or two valid interests with manners. The rest of my day contains quoting, calling, making payments, and filing. I have reached the point in my job where I've realized my brain may choose to be completely absent without effecting the effeciency of my work production. This realization comes with a lot of yawns and a need for sucky candy and snacks to keep at least my body focused and functioning. So when the opportunity of varried tasks arise I scramble for them.
One such rogue task that I look foward to is the scanning of checks. Most clients pay with credit cards which is a minor job of typing in numbers and pressing submit. But when checks come I get to scan it in the little machine that sucks the check in and swirls it in a half circle and shoots it back out. It's the same machine used at banks. It makes a little zipping sound that is completely thrilling to me.
The other day I came across one such little treasure and composed my face in perfect casuality as my brain checked back into my body for the excitement. My boss happened to be over my shoulder double checking his payment calculation. I began prepping myself for the upcoming pleasure. All of a sudden he grabbed hold of the check for verfication. Stay cool I told myself, do not let him know your secret. He then began to walk towards the scanner. I began to bar my mouth and place the guards to insure nothing stupid was going to escape. He began to place the check in the slot and I could hear the machine rousing itself for the glorious process. With too many thoughts and not enough restraint on duty, my mouth cried out " Stop that's my favorite Part!" My boss stopped and turned his head to access my sincerity. Due to my half out of my seat position coupled with the bright red face he realized that I was dead serious. Once I scolded my mouth a few times for letting such a stupid confession slip out I found enough grace as I would like to call it to shrug my shoulders and say "I like feeling like a banker." Oh yeah like that made it better. Thank you very much mouth, i expected it from the Brain but boy you really failed your guard job. After some great chuckles at my expense, my boss placed the check in my hand and gave me full reign of "my favorite part."
Yes I'm looking for a new mouth that actually does it job guarding my thoughts from making such a painful entrance into the world.

Sharpie Free

Journal Entry from 1/7/2010

"Today as I put our first load of groceries away in my mostly empty but very clean fridge I had the most glorious thought. It was simple and maybe even silly but it suddenly made the intimidation of married life lower it's head.

My thought: Everything in this fridge is mine. There is no need for a sharpie marker in hand to scribble initials and threats of Do Not Eat on all my items. I do not have to shove my fresh food amongst the unfamiliar, old, and even rotting food of strangers. I can sleep with the knowledge that everything in my fridge is there because I put it there.

Such a small enjoyment of marriage, but so very appreciated. If everyday feels as good as being sharpie free, I could get used to this married thing."

5 Months Later.

Jon has taken the form of a small child with his declarations of, "when I grow up I'm going to be a _______" Most any occupation can be added there due to his ever changing mind. Some days Jon is a man dressed in Khaki surrounded by wild animals fulfilling the role of Zookeeper. While other days he is a mysterious badge hiding FBI agent. He certainly has explored the avenues and alleyways of Careers but has settled on the street of Business Law. He is going to attend the Marriott Business School in Accounting and then move on to Law School. His latest goal involves a certain sign on a certain little brown building that will read "Edwards and Earl Inc."

While Jon is exploring our future I'm providing for our present. My life kind of looks like this

1 Full Time Job + 1 Part Time Job= 52 Hours a week.

I've always hated math.

Althought I will say it sure is nice to have my life be in addition rather than subtraction. Our first two months of marriage consisted of no job offers, no income, and a lot of minus signs. Sometimes I suppose Math can be good.

Our newest adventure consists of old blue carpet, lace doily curtains, and an old woman smell. Sounds pretty undesirable right? However we are thrilled by this combination because it comes in the form of a new condo for us!

Jon and I decided to take advantage of the $8,000 tax credit, my cousin Justin's new realty license, and our 6 years worth of future in Provo and bought a condo. It was extremely spontaneous and not like either of us to be so decisive and forward. But it really felt right for us and my amazing father supported us. We were able to get a great deal and ended up with a mortgage payment that was less than our current rent.

We are currently working on getting some paint on the bare walls, and pulling up the smell embedded carpet. My life has been one big episode of Trading Spaces lately. We will move into the newly polished place next week.
(Stay Tuned for the Before and After Pictures.)

So that's what you've missed on Jon and Kel....

Many days sharpie free and wonderful.

5 Months Later I'm certainly getting used to this married thing.