Monday, June 7, 2010

My Favorite Part

My job is repetitive.
I arrive at the same time (approximately 30 seconds early), fill up my water bottle, and feed the entertaining fish that sit in front of my desk. I then spend the next hour or so calling insurance "leads" from the internet. Which translates into me calling number after number of rude and disinterested people with one or two valid interests with manners. The rest of my day contains quoting, calling, making payments, and filing. I have reached the point in my job where I've realized my brain may choose to be completely absent without effecting the effeciency of my work production. This realization comes with a lot of yawns and a need for sucky candy and snacks to keep at least my body focused and functioning. So when the opportunity of varried tasks arise I scramble for them.
One such rogue task that I look foward to is the scanning of checks. Most clients pay with credit cards which is a minor job of typing in numbers and pressing submit. But when checks come I get to scan it in the little machine that sucks the check in and swirls it in a half circle and shoots it back out. It's the same machine used at banks. It makes a little zipping sound that is completely thrilling to me.
The other day I came across one such little treasure and composed my face in perfect casuality as my brain checked back into my body for the excitement. My boss happened to be over my shoulder double checking his payment calculation. I began prepping myself for the upcoming pleasure. All of a sudden he grabbed hold of the check for verfication. Stay cool I told myself, do not let him know your secret. He then began to walk towards the scanner. I began to bar my mouth and place the guards to insure nothing stupid was going to escape. He began to place the check in the slot and I could hear the machine rousing itself for the glorious process. With too many thoughts and not enough restraint on duty, my mouth cried out " Stop that's my favorite Part!" My boss stopped and turned his head to access my sincerity. Due to my half out of my seat position coupled with the bright red face he realized that I was dead serious. Once I scolded my mouth a few times for letting such a stupid confession slip out I found enough grace as I would like to call it to shrug my shoulders and say "I like feeling like a banker." Oh yeah like that made it better. Thank you very much mouth, i expected it from the Brain but boy you really failed your guard job. After some great chuckles at my expense, my boss placed the check in my hand and gave me full reign of "my favorite part."
Yes I'm looking for a new mouth that actually does it job guarding my thoughts from making such a painful entrance into the world.


  1. Wow. Talk about easily entertained...

  2. That is freakin hilarious! I can just see you spurting that out at him and then him checking to see if you were serious! Well written. When I read your outburst, I had one of my own. I said right out loud "no you didn't!" And I blushed for you! ha.

  3. I love you so much that you did that.

    Also. A clear memory of you saying, "Doubt it" to Kylie's ancestoral claims in seminary makes me think that a new mouth with a guard is maybe not in the near future...


  4. Kelsey, I am so proud of you. I love everything about that! At least now you won't have to go through that again. Now you'll always get to run the check through the little machine. And just for the record, I would agree with you. I always thought checks were fun in the jobs I had. I support you :)

  5. I love the way you write! This was an absolute scream. Thanks for putting it out there!

  6. Oh Brit! I knew you would understand and blush with me! Do you have a blog missy?
    Ande that was one of my finest moments really. I mean bratty or not that just had to be challenged!
    Michelley. I knew that you could relate to my burning need to do a small task. Many memories of you beating me to the microwave to push the buttons are coming to my mind..:)
    And Shelly thanks for the love. You make me happy.

  7. K! Stop making me laugh! Funny....cuz I know EXACTLY what you are talking about....and nobody else can say that! THIS was hilarious! I can just see Paul turning his head ever so slightly to see your face. hahahaha. You are too funny!